How to Manage Anxiety, De-stress and Find the Calm

 

Everyone can benefit from finding the calm...

Learning how to relax is not just for those who feel anxious, stress can play a huge role in your daily life. Whether it is work related, money problems or just the train is crammed full of people and you find the stress levels starting to rise. Stress and anxiety can manifest physically causing a number of health problems which is another reason to find ways to manage it.

The first thing I want to talk about is mainly for those that are going through high levels of stress, anxiety, depression and are finding it difficult to cope and it may become overwhelming. To begin with it is very important that you speak to your doctor and tell them how your feeling. Don't feel embarrassed or feel that what your going through it is not important. You might be surprised by how understanding they are. They should give you the tools to help such as different websites to look at. In certain cases they will suggest antidepressants, this is entirely up to you if you decide you want to take them. I would suggest doing your research before making any decisions. I personally did not feel that I would benefit from them and with having CFS I did not think my body would cope well with the medication. My doctor gave me a list of local counselling services for me to contact and make an appointment. They all ran on a donation basis and the one I chose to go to started from £3 to £30 a session, so you can pay what your are comfortable with. Initially I was sceptical whether I would find counselling helpful. I thought how am I going to spend 50 minutes talking to this stranger. Well after I started opening up about what I was dealing with I found it really easy to chat away. I left the session smiling, feeling like a weight had been lifted. I decided that I wasn't going to spend all day every day worrying about my illness etc. Instead when a worrying thought came I would put it to one side and then when my weekly session came I would talk about it then. It has not cured my anxiety, however I have found that I'm not as stressed and worried all the time. I cannot tell you how important it is to have someone you can talk to about your problems and not to keep it all to yourself. You might be able to talk to a friend or family member open and honestly but it is not always easy. With a counsellor you can say exactly how your feeling and you won't be upsetting or offending anyone you care about. They are there to help not to judge you. Due to my health worsening I wasn't able to make the journey there anymore so had to stop going. Luckily I now see a private counsellor who lives nearby. I was also told about a counselling service over the phone which might be more convenient for some people and it is free. This is available through the NHS. The website is: http://www.nhs24.com/usefulresources/livinglife/

Something else that I have been practising for a few months is meditation. I tend to only meditate when I am feeling anxious at the minute. However it is something that with practice and dedication I would like to build up to doing it daily in order to see the full effects. There is a few free apps that you can download to your phone that has guided meditation sessions that are normally 5-10 minutes long. They go through the steps on how to meditate, such as your posture and breathing. The one I like to use is The Calm App because it has relaxing sounds that you play while you meditate. I sometimes just play the sounds when I can't get to sleep to help me relax. The other one which I have tried is Headspace, which is very straight forward and easy to use. It also depends on the persons voice guiding you, whether you actually find it relaxing to listen to. If your someone that gets stressed or anxious whilst travelling then you can easily put your headphones in and listen to the meditation. There are also plenty of videos on Youtube on meditation if you do not want to get an app. If you have trouble sleeping at night there is a kind of mindful meditation you can do while you lie in bed that I was told about from my counsellor where you scan your body. Lie with you arms by your side and close your eyes. Then starting with your feet, you tense your muscles while you take a deep breathe in, then when you breathe out relax your muscles. Repeat this 2/3 times then move up the body to your calves then thighs ect. Until you finish with relaxing your face muscles. If any part still feels tense go back and do it again. You might even find you drift off to sleep before you finish because your so relaxed. By continuing to meditate you will start to see that it comes with a lot of benefits. Some of these are:

I have recently been looking more into mindfulness which can be used whilst meditating but after continued practice should become a way of being. Mindfulness is about being in the moment and deliberately bringing your attention to this moment in time and not on worrying thoughts. It is not about keeping your mind clear of all thoughts but putting those worries aside when they come and refocussing your attention to the moment. For instance if you go for a mindful walk you notice every detail, such as the trees, cars, the sound of the wind and birds. You are finding the joy again in the life's simple offerings. Mindfulness carries a lot of the same benefits as meditation, including  an increase in compassion and gratitude. By slowing down and appreciating life everything we do can become mindful. I have been reading a book called The Little Book of Mindfulness 10 minutes a day to less stress, more peace by Dr Patrizia Collard recently. It has a lot of 5-10 minute exercises/tips on mindfulness and some lovely poems. It also talks about the body scan in more detail that I went over before. One thing that the author talks about is accepting what is. Which is something that I have had to do with CFS. But you have to do it with any illness you have, taking a mindful approach and accepting what is.

Another book which I would recommend is Calm: calm the mind, change the world by Michael Acton Smith. It is written by the same person who developed the Calm app. It is a beautifully visual book, full of colourful pictures. It again focuses on mindfulness and meditation and is interactive with a number of exercises to complete. One suggestion the book has it to start writing a journal daily. Which is something I have taken up over the last few months. It can be incredibly therapeutic and can reduce stress. Sometimes just writing down your thoughts and fears and be enough to help clear your head. Plus it will be nice to have something to look back on in years to come. The book has 3 questions that you can answer every day when you write your journal:

1. What made you feel calm today?

2. What are you grateful for?

3. What were three highlights of today?

Walking and being out in nature can be incredibly calming. When we walk we release endorphins which can relieve pain and increase positivity and relaxation. It is a good way to clear your head and relieve some stress. Even though I can't walk very far just now I still love just getting outside in the fresh air and take my dog with me. I listen to music and watch the world go by. I've become to know the people who live near me a lot better than I did before because now I pay more attention to what's happening around me.

Calm: calm the mind, change the world



Lastly I thought it was worth mentioning another book which I got recently. This one is not for reading as it is a colouring book for adults. I have heard a lot about them recently and they are also known for being therapeutic. You can buy mindfulness colouring books as well as Harry Potter and Vogue ones. I one I chose was Millie Marotta's Tropical Wonderland a colouring book adventure because it was full of flowers and animals. I quite happily sit for hours colouring in a picture and I love it. It honestly focuses my mind on what I'm doing instead of other worries. I find it very relaxing and I get a sense of accomplishment when I finally finish a picture. Another bonus is they are quite cheap and should take you a while to finish.

I hope that you will find some of my suggestions helpful in your search for finding the calm. Mindfulness and meditation can be applied to most aspects of your daily life.